Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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