can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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