escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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