Nicole vs. Life
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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