So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
