In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
