Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm just crazy horny about you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
