Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
