Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
