she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
