Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
