69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
