the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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