ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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