dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
this will be a night to untag.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
