I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
