why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
