Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
