Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
