He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Randomize
