Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
