when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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