Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
