I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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