quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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