nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
