You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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