You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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