12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
