i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
