you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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