he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
