CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
