standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
