It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
