Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
