I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
