just tell him i said nine months
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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