Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
