Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
