Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You pole danced in your parka.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
