trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
