i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
