Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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