suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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