Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
