went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize