and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
