we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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