and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
