i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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