I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
