apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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