in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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