I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
