the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize