Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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